From Bed, Bath & Beyond to Babies ‘R Us

Happy

Random baby, obviously not mine. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today when I logged onto Facebook, the first five pictures on my newsfeed were of my friends’ babies. Now, I love babies as much as the next person. I volunteer in my church nursery to watch the little rugrats twice a month. But there was just something a bit…I don’t know…peculiar about seeing all of these babies taking over my newsfeed. Is this what it’s like to be in your mid-twenties nowadays?

Just when I got accustomed to the idea of former classmates and friends getting married, now it seems like everyone’s preggers or giving birth (the fact that I attended an all-girls Catholic high school may or may not have something to do with that). Seriously, I’d just conquered bridal registries on Bed, Bath & Beyond and now I’ve been handed the seemingly daunting task of finding my way around Babies ‘R Us to scour items for baby registries.

Confession: I have a mild panic attack every time I go into Babies ‘R Us or walk down the baby aisle at Target. I’m not familiar with the layout (I don’t have any kids…why would I be?), so the entire process is somewhat intimidating for me. It’s similar to the sensory overload I experience at Wegman’s, but that’s a different blog for a different day.

Even with a print-out of the registry in my hand, I second guess everything. Should I get this? Or should I get that? And don’t get me started on sizes. I know she’s a baby, but what if she’s a chubber? And can someone please tell me what’s the difference between newborn and 0-3 sizes?! Isn’t a three-month old still technically a newborn? Ugh.

It all seems to emphasize the fact that I am nowhere near ready to give birth to a human being. Nevermind the fact that I’m not married either. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes L’Oreal with a fabulous purple baby carriage…and a Coach baby tote to boot. At least, that’s the plan. And so far, it’s working out quite lovely. I’m not trying to be anyone’s baby mama. I am not ready for all of the responsibilities that come along with motherhood.

So instead of showing off my own baby bump or Instagram pics of my newborn rolling over for the first time any time soon, I will happily “like” all those adorable pictures on my newsfeed and offer my amazing babysitting services when needed. Seriously, kids love me…or maybe they just think I’m funny (or funny looking). But as long as they’re not crying, I’ll take it. And to all of you hot young mamas out there, rock on!

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