When I first started dating my now husband, a few family members and friends were surprised to find out he was Black.
You see, I’ve always had a soft spot for White boys. My first crush was Michael Bolton (don’t judge). Justin Timberlake is my “bae” (he just doesn’t know it yet, sorry Jessica!). And my first boyfriend was White.
Having experienced an interracial relationship firsthand, I literally laughed out loud when I saw Upworthy’s latest original video, “Mostly True with Phoebe Robinson.”
“This video and the jokes in it were based on a conversation with my boyfriend Jon, who comes from a big Italian family and I was going to meet his parents (AND all his family) at a wedding, so I was definitely nervous,” explains the comedian, who is also known as the Black Daria, or “Blaria,” for short. “And my nervousness prompted that question.”
While being part of an interracial relationship is just like any other relationship (for the most part), it can be on the receiving end of ignorant comments/questions or flat-out racism.
“I think the craziest thing is that people will sometimes yell stuff at us while we’re walking down the street. Like, ‘Hey, why aren’t you dating an African prince?’ Uh, cuz I live in Park Slope, dude,” she says. “Other bad thing is that I used to live off the Church Avenue stop in Brooklyn and people used to write in the subway that the neighborhood wasn’t for White people and that they need to leave. That was definitely awkward.”
So what’s a gal to when she finds herself madly in love with someone from a different race?
“Have fun with your differences and welcome them. Know that outside people are going to judge your relationship and you just have to have the resolve to handle it,” advises Phoebe. “Be ready and willing to talk openly about race and willing to learn about each other’s cultures. Sure, it may be awkward at times, but it’s worth it, especially if you love the person.”
And last, but certainly not least, don’t worry about the haters.
“Ignore people who will be like, ‘Have kids because they will be gorgeous,'” she says. “They’re not in charge of your lady bits. Have kids when you’re ready AND not because they will be beautiful.”
Preach on, sister!